She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
