haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
