erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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