Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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