So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
