Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
