You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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