Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
