yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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