the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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