THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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