yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone came in the potted fern
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
