I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
