I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
