Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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