Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
