he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
