a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You pole danced in your parka.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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