My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
