Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
