He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
