you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
