Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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