i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
