if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
