There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
