I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
