we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize