Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
