His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
