i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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