I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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