Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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