Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
