Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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