The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
