he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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