How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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