I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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