in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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