I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
