it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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