But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
