Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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