She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
