I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
