if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
