I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
