I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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