Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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