; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
