She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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