Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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