Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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