so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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