How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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