Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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