my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
