What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
